Jayson and I were asked to speak in the Singles Stake Conference. I thought I would share my talk on here for family to have the opportunity to read, to share my beliefs with you, and to have in the future to look back to.
I want to start off by telling you a little bit about mine and Jayson’s extremely cheesy love story.
It all started four years ago.
One summer day in Logandale I was driving into work in my little white ford pick-up. The sun was shining down on me while I was driving my half hour commute to the salon. The windows down, music on and life was good. Suddenly one glance down I noticed my poor little truck was smoking. In an immediate state of panic I pulled over and called my older brother to come save me. He came, towed my truck and got me to work on time. When looking into repairing that little white truck I soon found it would cost more to fix the engine than the truck was actually worth. With the extra money I had saved up and the steady income I made the decision to buy a new car. My mother and father were right there at my side aiding me in my first big financial commitment. When I went in to buy my car I came out not knowing I was being led to my future husband. While there, my mother and Jayson’s dad who was selling me the car had schemed up a blind date for us. When my mother told me what she had been up to I was not exactly excited. The last thing I wanted was to go on a date that was set up by parents. However I knew I wasn’t having much luck finding the right guy myself, so I thought maybe my mom could do a little better. Jayson had finally called me and asked me out, while hesitating I had actually told him I was busy that weekend. Being persistent he tried for the following weekend. I decided one date would be alright.
That first date with Jayson we decided to meet in St. George as it was in the middle of our homes. We met in the Old Navy parking lot and as soon as he stepped out of his car I thought well at least he was studly and had extremely nice shoulder muscles. After the date was over I came to the conclusion he was the cutest sweetest man out there. On our second date we went out for ice cream at Cold Stone. As we sat and talked I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the man I could spend the rest of my life with. All of the sudden I look around and the entire strip mall was empty, lights were off, shops were closed, tables clean and there was nobody in sight. I looked at my phone and didn’t believe it when I saw it was 3 in the morning. We had sat and talked for hours and I felt as if I could have stayed hours longer. I drove home that night unable to stop smiling. The following day my cheek muscles throbbed in smile pain.
It wasn’t tell after our third date, I was opening my door to get in my new car when Jayson shuts it, looks me in the eye and asks if he could kiss me. My knees buckled at the cuteness in the question and the shake in his voice. Needless to say our first kiss was perfect. We dated a few more weeks when we drove into St George again….I knew I needed to tell him that I was not dating any other boys and didn’t want him to be dating any other girls. I wanted to make it official that he was my boyfriend. We walked around the temple that night and then over to the park. It was getting late, the sun was going down and the peace I felt holding his hand was unlike anything I had imagined. We stood to give each other a hug. When Jayson places his hands on my neck, looks into my eyes and just kinda whispers “I think we should get married”. The most amazing feeling came over me, I closed my eyes and just said “me too” at that moment I had never felt the spirit so strong. A few tears rolled down my face as the thought sank into my chest. I was so anxious to tell this man not to be dating any other girls because I wanted him all to myself and when I left that night I knew that was exactly what I was going to have for eternity.
I was totally in love with this man, I could see his testimony shinning out of him and saw the Joy he found in his priesthood. I knew that someday I would be proud to have my sons look up to him as a father, and my daughters to desire a companion with the same characteristics.
When preparing for this talk I was overwhelmed by the talks and articles I could use and reference. However one more recent talk you all may remember well was
by Elder D. Todd Christofferson “Brethern, We have work to do”
In this talk he says "Brethren, We must be the men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust."
I think this is the type of man that girls, righteous, beautiful daughters of heavenly father are not only looking for, but deserve.
In that same talk he states a few statistics on women being higher educated and more successful. Also using the example that in too many Hollywood films, TV, and even commercial adds that men are portrayed as incompetent, or self-absorbed.
It can not be this was. Priesthood holders have the essential role to play in society, at home and in the church. I could not agree more.
In D&C section 121 it says
“The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven and the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness”.
I beg all the young men out there as I know your future wives would beg you to be righteous , worthy priesthood holders and to recognize the ability you have to bless not only your lives but the lives of your family.
Women likewise have a responsibility to prepare to be righteous, worthy wives and mothers.
Spencer W. Kimball said
“No greater recognition can come to you in this world than to be known as a woman of God. No greater status can be conferred upon you than being a daughter of God who experiences true sisterhood, wife hood, and motherhood”
It has been said that women of the church need to be distinct and different from the women of the world. I pondered on some examples to share on how I prepared myself for the role of a wife and mother. Nothing coming to my mind other than nothing could have possibly prepared me for this. It is the hardest, easiest, saddest, happiest, most confusing, rewarding thing I have ever entered into.
I read the talk by Jeffery R. Holland called “Because she is a mother” and quickly related to the way he described the roles of a young wife and mother. He said “The young years of marriage often may still be in school or in those earliest and leanest stages of developing the husband’s bread-winning capacities. Finances fluctuate daily between low and nonexistent. The apartment is usually decorated in one of two smart designs—Deseret Industries or early Mother Hubbard. The car, if there is one, runs on smooth tires and an empty tank. But with night feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young mother is simply fatigue. Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island.”
I had an experience a few weeks ago where Jayson was gone to meetings, Ty was screaming. Demanding my complete attention. He had a poopy bum and has spilled cereal all over the floor. Ember was fussing. Hungry, tired, mad, wanted to be picked up...I was not sure. I looked around and the house was a mess. Dishes in the sink and gold fish crumbs pressed into the carpet. Spit up in my hair and chocolate finger prints on my white shirt. In a moment of weakness. My knees gave out and I collapse to the floor. I sat there and start to bawl. I pressed my hands over my face and wonder why God ever trusted me with his sweet spirits. I felt as if I was a complete failure as a wife and mother. Tears continued to run down my face for a few minutes. Thoughts of failure and disappointment overwhelm me. It was not suppose to be this hard. I love my kids. More than I could have ever imagined. So why was I failing? Why couldn't I make it through this day or even just this moment. I continued sitting there. My thoughts consuming me and the world becoming fuzzy. Now with my thoughts so powerful the sound of screaming children became faint background noise. I wish there was an answer. I wish somehow my children could be happy every moment. I feel that is what they deserve. but that is not real life. I sat there and suddenly with out thinking I just began to pray. I prayed not to have life be perfect. but just for strength. Strength to get up from the floor and be able to take care of those children I love so dearly. I prayed that they could know my love for them and that I was trying the best I could. In that moment I knew I needed the lords help. I knew I could call upon him to help me in the eternal role of motherhood.
We can’t be afraid to ask for help, especially when it is from Christ.
But also from our husbands or wives. You bet that when Jayson came in that night I shared with him my struggles. I shared with him how I felt I was failing him as a wife and our children as a mother. He was the person I want to bury my face into his arm and cry.
Often times he has had to stroke my hair, kiss my cheeks and reassure me that I am doing a good job. I only hope that I can assure him of his accomplishments as he does for me. It is truly a partnership, one that is necessary for exaltation. A spouse is the only person other than the Lord whom we have been commanded to love with all our heart.
In D&C 42:22
it says Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.
The phrase “none else” teaches that no person, activity, or possession should ever take precedence over the marriage relationship.
Russell M. Nelson said
Marriage is the foundry for social order, the fountain of virtue, and the foundation for eternal exaltation. Marriage has been divinely designated as an eternal and everlasting covenant. Marriage is sanctified when it is cherished and honored in holiness. That union is not merely between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God.”