Friday, February 15, 2013

families can be together forever

I have always thought of myself as one who lives on the dangerous side. In high school im sure you could use the word reckless. I can't say the same as of now.

My fear as a mother is overwhelming. The moment I step into a vehicle, walk in the dark, am approached by a stranger. . I am constantly plagued by the fear of not being able to see my babies grow.

 Something happening to me.

Leaving them to wonder who their mother was. 

I try and make it a joke.
For some reason that is the only way I can cope with the thought.
The thought of someone else raising my babies.

When I say I make it a joke, I mean that I tell Jayson
to re-marry someone who is not very cute.
(not like that even matters)

He always tells me he would never re-marry.
He would raise our babies alone.

I can't stand the thought of that either.
Why would someone worry about something like this?
Am I completely weird?

The fact is I love my babies so much it hurts. 
and I feel my husband truly is my soul mate. 

I want to be there for everything.
Live life as long as I possibly can.

I want to see my babies childrens children have kids.
and I want to see those kids graduate. 

I want to love Jayson tell were all wrinkly.
 The thought of us growing old together warms my soul.

But then the intense fear comes in.
I feel like I have to think about it.
 I have to talk about it.

Would someone love my family as much as I do.
When they rocked my babies would they look into their sweet innocent eyes and tear up at the site of their perfection.

Be slow to anger and quick to forgive with my soul mate.

A part of me feels paranoid.
but the truth is that life is so fragile.

I have no idea when my days will come to an end.

I just have to let my faith overcome my fear.

I have faith that if I live righteously
that no matter how long or short my time here on earth is
that my family is sealed to me for time and all eternity.

I know families can be together forever.
Its just letting my faith overcome the fear. 

 Families can be together forever
Through Heavenly Father’s plan.
I always want to be with my own family,
And the Lord has shown me how I can.